The Real Athlete Blog

Expert Contributor: Dr. Timothy Thompson

Biography

Dr. Tim Thompson (“Dr. T”) is C.E.O. of the Institute of Applied Human Relations, LLC, and Vice President of Educational Programs for Access Athletes, LLC. He has a Ph.D. in Organizational Communication, along with a broad range of leadership and advisement experience in advertising/public relations/ media relations, media management, and organizational development. He is a third degree black belt in the Chinese internal martial art of Tai Chi Chuan (Grand Ultimate Fist) under Grand Master Dennis Brown, and is the head Tai Chi Chuan instructor at the Largo campus of the Dennis Brown Shaolin Wu Shu Training Centers in the Washington, DC area. Additionally, Dr. T is a Kundalini Reiki practitioner whose counseling/healing work focuses on self-transformation, interpersonal/group dynamics, organizational cultures, team-building, and leadership development.

Most Recent Articles

Welcome to the New Training Camp: Preparing players for the game of life off the field

by Dr. Timothy Thompson 07-16-2012 10:11 PM Life After Sports | Human Relations

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Thankfully, nowadays it’s easy to find articles in sports information publications that focus genuine attention on sticky questions about how to create a soft landing pad for pro athletes whose high-flying playing days have ended. But that conversation topic hasn’t always been so popular, though.

In fact, as easy as it has now become to join in on public dialogues about pro athletes’ career transitioning traumas, it’s just as easy to conclude that before May 2, 2012, far too few sports writers and pro teams demonstrated any authentic caring about what causes athletes’ retirement woes.

May 2 is when we found out about NFL great Junior Seau’s shocking suicide. Since that sad day, perhaps the best news relating to Seau’s death is that all of the top sports publications and most of the major pro sports leagues have been trying hard to figure out why pro athletes struggle so badly with life outside of playing their beloved sports.

For example, in ESPN NASCAR analyst Marty Smith’s May 11, 2012 ESPN.com article entitled “How do you cope when it’s over?” renowned sports author John Feinstein was quoted as summarizing the problem faced by transitioning out of playing in the following way: “Athletes die twice.” Feinstein was referring to the shock that athletes experience once they have to leave the cocoon-like social world that they’ve been nestled in for most of their lives, and their corresponding struggles to adjust to the same life challenges faced by the rest of us.

Feinstein’s analysis definitely shows great insight into some of the core causal elements that are ultimately responsible for so many former pro athletes going broke shortly after they’ve stopped playing. And Jack Bechta, National Football Post contributor and sports agent, has taken this insight to the next level, particularly in his May 9, 2012 post entitled “NFL is in need of a better exit plan for its players.”

In that solution-oriented piece, Bechta listed four specific action steps that he believes would help the NFL to smooth out its players’ transitions from celebrity to Average Joe status. I’ve summarized his well-justified ideas for you here:
1. The league should make year-round life skills classes and programs mandatory for the first three years of a player’s career.
2. The NFL should form a committee of retired players and professionals (who don’t have an axe to grind), who can help develop a transitional program out of the league and in to a stable life.
3. Team owners should give retired players (who maybe played for 5 years or more) greater access to club facilities and get them involved in team activities, similar to what colleges do.
4. Each team should allocate perhaps $500,000 per year towards building life skills platforms, hiring more support staff, and creating more self-actualization information resources for current players.
As you can plainly see, this conversation topic is extremely vital for the future of sports in the U.S., and we’re surely off to a good start. But those of us who’ve dedicated ourselves to helping high-profile athletes reach self-actualized status in all aspects of their lives are painfully aware that we still have many miles to go before we’ve accomplished that lofty goal.

In that light, we at Access Athletes are pleased to offer you a three-part series of columns – of which this piece, which will steer us all to a sure way to actually solve the problem, is the first installment.

Expanding high profile athletes’ identity formation

After having completed extensive research at Marquette University for his doctoral dissertation focusing on the mental and physical effects of playing pro football, one of former NFL linebacker George Koonce, Jr.’s main conclusions matches John Feinstein’s. Like Feinstein, Koonce insists that leaving a professional athletic career behind is metaphorically like dying. In fact, Koonce, whose doctoral research was actually focused specifically on the NFL, refers to life after a player’s retirement as the “afterlife.”
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While Working Hard on How You Play, Don’t Forget Why

by Dr. Timothy Thompson 06-01-2012 09:13 PM Human Relations | Athlete Career Development | Athlete Advice

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This year’s Masters golf tournament winner, Bubba Watson, hasn’t had golf lessons since he was 10 years old, according to an April 9, 2012 ESPN Golf online news article entitled “Bubba Watson wins Masters.” Yet the originator of “Bubba golf” still manages to be regarded by his pro circuit peers as one of the game’s most creative shot-making wizards. And now he has the hardware, prize money, and green jacket to show for it by winning golf’s most prestigious tournament, powered by a jaw dropping shot from the woods that miraculously held off a late playoff charge by a surging Louis Oosthuizen.

Meanwhile, on the opposite pole of the sports spectrum (opposite because golf is best in warm weather while skiing is best in the cold), 2010 Olympic women’s skiing champion Lindsey Vonn posted the most dominant overall performance of her storied career despite facing major turbulence in her personal life at the same time. This according to an April 8, 2012 New York Times article entitled “For Lindsey Vonn, Professional Triumph and Personal Turmoil.”

Although their life circumstances and their sports differ dramatically from each other, both of these champions have pulled off mind-blowing victories on the largest stages against top competition because of a single quality that’s necessary for success in any area of life. That vital core quality is what I call “passionate inner drive,” which is really nothing more than self-generated love for doing a particular thing.

While neither champ used the passionate inner drive phrase in their explanations of what propelled them, what they did say attributed their success to it nonetheless. Vonn, for example, told reporters, “I realized for the first time in my life I was skiing for myself. I had always had a lot of people helping me — my dad when I was younger, then Thomas (her estranged husband, manager and coach), and my sponsors. And sometimes, I think I skied for those other people.

“This year, I realized that I’m the only one in the start gate and I’m the only one deciding what line to ski and how fast. That was really empowering. It was kind of like being a kid again, skiing for yourself and having fun with it.”

Meanwhile, for Watson, this self-driven way of approaching his golfing is nothing new. In fact, the only news for him is that it has finally propelled him to victory in the world’s greatest golf tournament.

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The Dangers of an Alter Ego: How to keep your head on straight when fame hits

by Dr. Timothy Thompson 04-03-2012 11:26 PM Human Relations

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"I think a lot of guys get too preoccupied and overwhelmed with being a superstar. They think of that iconic image of Superman. In my opinion, they need to realize that not enough respect is paid to the alter ego: Clark Kent, Peter Parker, Steve Rogers. Those are the real guys. That’s who Superman is. He’s Clark Kent.

“I’m real big on being an average Joe. A lot of people, especially in today’s society, want to throw too much praise at the character and not at the real person.”

These aren’t the words of some average Joe who’s caught up in his own specially created fantasy world and can’t distinguish between real people and comic book characters. Rather, the speaker in this case is none other than World Extreme Cagefighting former 155-pound champion Benson Henderson, who, despite already being viewed as a future Cage Fighting hall of famer, continues to impress fight fans with his still-growing arsenal of skills.

Henderson’s comments appeared in sportswriter Kevin Iole’s February 23, 2012 Yahoo! Sports article entitled "Lightweight contender Benson Henderson’s Clark Kent image might soon become Superman." In Iole’s article, Henderson was explaining how he keeps his focus firmly on the pursuit of ultimate perfection, and therefore keeps building on his already amazing level of fighting skills. According to Iole, because of Henderson’s practice of honestly assessing his abilities and pushing himself beyond his self-imposed limitations, the electrifying fighter actually “gets to be Superman by not being overly impressed by himself.”

The balanced life perspective that Henderson displays is particularly impressive since resisting the strong urge to become overly impressed with ourselves in the face of constant public praise can be one of our most daunting off-the-field challenges. That’s why we should all heed Henderson’s success formula.

It’s especially hard to resist hiding behind your brand image if you’ve created a heroic public persona to help you cope with the “virtual fantasy world” occupied by celebrities in general, as former NBA star Gilbert Arenas did with his Agent Zero “disguise.” In a February 20, 2012 SI.com article by Sam Amick entitled "Arenas opens up after lengthy hiatus from league, media (Pt. 1)", Arenas candidly explained why he struggled to stay level-headed, and how he allowed his public and private selves to blend too closely together, ultimately distorting his personal decision-making to a self-destructive degree.

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Stephen Howard proves there’s abundant life after playing pro sports

by Dr. Timothy Thompson 02-20-2012 03:14 PM Athlete Career Development | Life After Sports | Athlete Interviews

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As an athlete and/or sports fan, you’re probably hard-wired to zero your attention right in on the kinds of examples that your favorite playing icons set for how top athletes should conduct their lives off the court or field. That’s understandable too, since everybody seems to love focusing on the biggest stars.

But guys like former NBA sub Stephen Howard may just have more to teach you about how to transition from playing professional basketball to a mainstream career than Kobe Bryant, Dwayne Wade, Chris Paul, or even Ray Allen can.

Sure, those veteran master basketball superstars have proven their staying power in the NBA. But they’re also used to being among the most important players on their teams, which means that they’ve never had to worry about losing their jobs as much as players do who are lower on the pecking order. And for some of them, that status may translate more easily into front office, broadcasting, or even unrelated entrepreneurial opportunities later on because of the recognizability of their names.

Lesser-known players, however, can never allow themselves the luxury of getting comfortable on a player roster. Because of the extreme lack of job stability for pro athletes everywhere, players who aren’t in a team’s regular rotation have a more urgent need than superstars do to prepare themselves for post-athletic careers.

Of course, every player on a pro roster has dedicated years of physical and emotional sacrifice to don one of the official uniforms of his or her sport. So whether the player is the team MVP or the last one off the bench, the ritual-dependent warrior life of a professional athlete is so physically and emotionally taxing that making the transition to another career after one’s playing days are over can be a hugely traumatic life change.

According to Howard, who is an entrepreneur, as well as a studio analyst for the NBA’s OKC Thunder and a college basketball analyst for ESPN, “I think most players don’t realize the true depth of that transition [from playing pro basketball to another career] and what it will entail once they get done playing. So that’s really what makes it so difficult when they leave the sport. It’s a definite process that you have to go through. It’s almost like a death, and you’re mourning it. You’ve been doing that work for so long.”

Howard spent 15 years playing professional basketball internationally and domestically, including three seasons with the Utah Jazz, one season with the Seattle SuperSonics, and a brief stint with the San Antonio Spurs, between 1992 and 1998. He retired from playing oversees about five years ago.

Even though Howard was never an NBA starter, and played the remainder of his 15-year pro basketball career overseas after 1998, he explained that the rigid ritualistic behavior patterns and constant competitive focus needed by pro athletes are so unique, that any career that follows it is likely to be experienced by the athlete as culture shock.

“I even see it with myself,” said Howard, referring to the feeling of loss that accompanied his retirement. “I’m still transitioning after five years to not playing. For more than 15 years, I was playing basketball, and then for 15 years I was doing it professionally. So literally I could set my clock on what I was doing at any certain time of the year, month, or day. It was a routine. When you lose that routine, then you basically have to develop a whole new routine later on in life. And that’s a very difficult transition, mentally, to go through.”

Recalling the factors that helped to prepare him for accepting the challenge of transitioning into a whole different way of earning a living, Howard explained, “Playing 15 years on a 1-year contract, I didn’t have any years where I could just rest and kind of chill. I was auditioning every day, every month, every shot, and every game for my next team that I would play for in the next year.

“People really don’t realize the difficult nature of being a professional athlete. But I think just as difficult as it is to become a professional athlete, it’s more difficult to leave that profession because, literally you’re living in a world that’s totally different from the real world just because of the money that you’re making, access that you have, and the different things that you do.”

So What’s a Retired Pro Baller to Do?

Given the intense and regimented nature of a pro athlete’s life, leaving your mournful feelings about the end of your playing career unresolved isn’t an option. Howard offers the following four tips to help pro athletes move through the inevitable mourning stages without falling into a debilitating depression.

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Derrick Rose Is Still Adding MVP Social Status to His Game

by Dr. Timothy Thompson 02-04-2012 02:43 PM Sports Psychology | Human Relations | Trusted Athlete Educator

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Derrick Rose appears to be a rare breed of superstar athlete who prefers to play his sport rather than allowing it to play him. At a time when even marginal players are inundated by media and other public appearances while they must watch every step they make in those appearances and in social media for the sake of protecting their brands, there’s certainly a refreshing side to the fact that the player known as “Pooh” to his family is uncomfortable about being viewed as a celebrity in his old neighborhood.

In a December 30, 2011 Yahoo! Sports article written by Marc J. Spears, the author explained, “Rose has accepted his fame, and he’s worked the past two seasons to show more of his personality to the public. But . . . the only time he seems comfortable opening up is around his family and long-time friends.” What Spears was referring to was Rose’s remarks about his emotional reaction to being treated differently than when he wasn’t a Chicago Bulls superstar. Rose explained, “The worst part is the attention. I hate attention like that.”

Rose went further in describing his feelings about the dramatic changes in the way basketball fans started treating him once he became an NBA star, saying, “I can’t even go outside to eat at places without having a hood on or walking with my head down. I’m not used to that. It’s weird, but hopefully it’s something I can get through.”

The refreshing part of all this is that Rose is demonstrating a willingness to keep from letting fame and fortune turn him into an arrogant celebrity snob. And if he can successfully complete his adjustments to the social requirements of being a celebrity athlete, he’ll have accomplished something that many of his colleagues could not.

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Ken Harvey: A Hero Some More

by Dr. Timothy Thompson 09-01-2011 11:57 PM Athlete Interviews

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Ken Harvey’s fascinating rags-to-riches journey through football and life is a shining example of the importance of getting the full story before drawing conclusions and acting on them.

The former All-Pro linebacker retired from the NFL in 1999 and was selected in 2002 as one of the 70 all-time greatest Washington Redskins. Harvey currently runs his own sports marketing business, is an accomplished children’s book author who has just completed his first novel (entitled Xavier: A Hero No More), and currently serves as the Washington Redskins’ Director of Responsibility.

But life wasn’t always so charmed for Harvey. If he hadn’t taken a hard look in the mirror during his teen years, the main theme of his life story almost certainly would have been a tale of “would’ve, could’ve, should’ve.”

Nowadays, whenever he gets a chance to inspire business clients, current NFL players, or groups of youngsters, Harvey is quick to share the fact that he dropped out of high school at a time in his life when he hadn’t yet discovered anything to be passionate about.

It’s perfect that Harvey’s so willing to share his unpleasant memories along with the pleasant ones, because the lessons he’s learned from seeking the full story about himself and others make him a poster boy for changing our lives against all odds. Along the way, he learned that no positive change can occur in our lives unless we stop running from our personal truths.

“You know, looking at myself in the mirror is still affecting my life,” Harvey told Access Athletes. “I was just telling my business partner the other day that the hardest thing is to look at yourself in the mirror. A lot of times we’re so busy that we run past the mirror without seeing ourselves. It’s hard to look directly at yourself and say ‘This is what I need.’”

Harvey added: “And sometimes we don’t even know. Sometimes it has to be pointed out by somebody else. But when you’re alone and everything else seems to go bad around you, if you can stop and look and say ‘okay, what am I doing, what have I been doing all my life, and why isn’t what I’m doing working?’, then you can start to say ‘well maybe I need to tweak this, and maybe I need to tweak that.’”

Building the courage to face our inner demons and negative feelings is the key for us to learn from Harvey’s example and finally take full control of our lives. It’s also any athlete’s greatest challenge. But he insists that we can succeed in changing our lives simply by using a sensible, systematic approach.

One of the hardest things Harvey says is to identify what you need to work on, or the root of your problem.

“Sometimes we think ‘I don’t have any money’ and that the root of this lack of money is because I can’t get a good job. But the root may be what’s inside of you. Somebody may have told you, ‘Well you need to clean up your resume. It’s okay but it’s not as good as it could be.’ But you say, ‘I don’t need to clean up my resume because it’s about the type of people you know.’ So the root in that example may be pride.

“This can become a real problem when you get so prideful that you can’t listen when somebody’s giving you advice, but you think it’s because there are no jobs out there. You’re claiming that as the root, but the change that may have to come is that you’ve got to work on your pride. You may not think those two things go together, but they may go together.”

After identifying what needs to be changed, Harvey says you must stretch yourself. But he cautions that it isn’t always as simple as it seems because people develop habits along the way that make change more difficult.

“It’s hard to break those habits. But that’s where you’ve got to have people around you that can point out things and help you make adjustments.”

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Rookie Symposium: You Don't Miss It Until It's Gone

by Dr. Timothy Thompson 06-15-2011 12:29 AM Human Relations | Education | Athlete Career Development

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I hope New York Giants rookie offensive tackle James Brewer's opinion about the cancelled NFL Rookie Symposium isn't shared by many other new NFL draftees. In a May 26, 2011 New York Post Online article, author Paul Schwartz reported that Brewer told him, "That's probably one thing I'm not going to say I'll miss, going to [Ohio] for three days or so of pretty much a freshman orientation. Kind of letting you know what not to do. I feel I have pretty good common sense, so I think I'll be OK. I don't think I need someone to tell me not to hit women and stuff like that. I think I kind of know that already."

But two days earlier on May 24, 2011, an ESPN NFL website article entitled "NFL rookie symposium called off" had explained that the symposium is much more multifaceted than how Brewer has chosen to perceive it. The ESPN.com article quoted a league spokesperson who explained that "the symposium is a large, complex event involving many professionals and others. In fairness, we could not continue to keep their commitment on hold."

The article went on to say that "the symposium, which was to begin in Canton, Ohio, on June 26, is designed to teach rookies life lessons on dealing with football, finances and their new lifestyle. Many players who have been through the symposium have said it has been a positive first step in their transition to the NFL."

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Athlete Education on the Rise: Get into the Game

by Dr. Timothy Thompson 05-19-2011 11:59 PM Human Relations | Education | Athlete Career Development | Finance

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In a May 10, 2011 Yahoo! Sports website article entitled Fighter summit educates about finances, author Kevin Iole showed his readers that athlete education about a variety of subject areas that are closely related to the athlete's professional status is on the rise. Iole's article explained how the recent third annual Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) Fighter Summit focused much of its attention on teaching the pro fighters how to apply their training discipline to the management of their money, as well as to other important life decisions.

I regard this as a highly encouraging sign that there's a real growing market among some athletes for learning how to be smart about leveraging their influential social roles to achieve lasting benefits for themselves, their families, and their communities. And the more this market of life-long learners grows, the bigger the part pro athletes will be poised to play in inspiring young people to develop the kinds of multi-dimensional decision-making skills that will help our country's future leaders to respond effectively to the new and different challenges that we're all facing.

Whenever I read stories about guys like all-pro tight end Tony Gonzalez or former all-pro linebacker Lavar Arrington, among others, making the most of their life opportunities beyond pro football, I get an increasingly hopeful feeling that the stage is being set for pro athletes to show others how to get and stay in "the zone" off the field as well as on it. After all, the holistic thinking, precise mental focus, and painstakingly consistent ritualistic performance preparation behaviors that all highly tuned athletes must sustain can easily translate to any type of human activity. Therefore, all a pro athlete really needs in order to taste similar success outside of his or her sport is a strong desire to make it happen and effectively conveyed guiding information that emphasizes practical how-to tools and techniques.

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The Limits of Loyalty: How Far Should Friendship Go for Pro Athletes?

by Dr. Timothy Thompson 02-04-2011 12:52 AM Image Branding | Human Relations | Athlete Career Development | Trusted Athlete Educator

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The Oregonian columnist John Canzano raised an important point in his January 5 piece about a New Year’s Eve murder allegedly committed by one of former Portland Trailblazer Zach Randolph’s running buddies (at least while Randolph was with that team). Although nothing links Randolph to the murder, for Canzano the incident raises serious questions about which kinds of personal demons a professional sports franchise should accommodate and which ones should be deal breakers.

My understanding of the columnist’s main answer to that question is that he believes sports teams should consider the types of people in a player’s inner circle as a major clue about the player’s true character. Canzano goes further to suggest that the Portland Trail Blazers and all other professional sports teams should stay away from signing any player who hangs around with people who are likely to be involved in criminal activities, despite how talented such a player might be.

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Rampant Infidelity Amongst Pro Athletes Is No Surprise

by Dr. Timothy Thompson 12-07-2010 12:49 AM Trusted Athlete Educator | Human Relations

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I want to begin this commentary with a big shout-out to Elizabeth Merrill and Amy K. Nelson, the authors of a (yet another) great piece about the trials and tribulations of being married to a professional athlete. Now that all kinds of people’s “dirty laundry” is airing out in this new age of transparency, it looks like we’re going to be hearing a lot more about these kinds of personal issues in the athletic world from now on.

What I find so fascinating about the subject of athletes’ infidelities is that people continue to seem surprised by the seemingly endless stories about this admittedly juicy subject. Yes, of course I fully understand that we tend to love a good soap opera and all. But what fascinates me most of all is that so many of the women who get romantically involved with high-profile athletes actually appear to believe that it’s realistic to expect their widely adored and sought-after spouses to shun everyone else’s sexual advances under all circumstances. After all, it’s one thing to remain optimistically hopeful that we’ll experience true romantic love at least once in our lives. However, it’s another matter entirely to project that hope onto an athlete without having seriously observed his capacity to resist the steady flow of temptations that come with his job.

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LeBron James' "What Should I Do?" Nike Commercial

by Dr. Timothy Thompson 11-03-2010 01:06 AM Sports Psychology | Sports Business | Image Branding | Human Relations | Athlete Career Development | Public Relations

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I see nothing wrong with this message from LeBron James, especially since he appears to be answering the critics whose perspective was championed by Charles Barkley. I strongly disagree with what Barkley and his supporters were saying about the future implications of LeBron’s team selection, and I believe Charles’ reasoning was historically irrational and misguided. Essentially, Charles said LeBron should have chosen to stay with the Cavaliers primarily because that would’ve allowed him to be the undisputed leader rather than just a super cog. Furthermore, Charles argued that by not staying in Cleveland, LeBron was somehow dishonoring the cultural status of NBA basketball by rejecting the notion of competing with superstars like D-Wade for the top NBA dog spot. According to Charles, this was the true effect of LeBron joining a team that already featured another player of roughly equal star status. Never mind that Charles, who never won an NBA championship, was thinking about his own ego needs, and wasn’t really speaking from first-hand knowledge of what makes LeBron tick.

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It's Really About NBA Brand Imaging; Not LeBron

by Dr. Timothy Thompson 08-03-2010 12:44 AM Sports Business | Public Relations | Image Branding

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Focusing on LeBron James' human imperfections may make us feel better, but it doesn't help NBA fans to understand what we're really dealing with.

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Athlete Chat: Rachid El-Khalifi

by Dr. Timothy Thompson 06-02-2010 12:36 AM Athlete Interviews

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We caught up to Dutch Midfielder/Forward, Rachid El-Khalifi, before he left Real Salt Lake after one season to apply his trade outside the U.S.

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Give the guy a chance for redemption

by Dr. Timothy Thompson 08-21-2009 09:40 PM Athlete Career Development | Trusted Athlete Educator

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As sports fans and participants, we all need to be more realistic about the kinds of life choices that we expect top athletes to make. If the athlete wasn't already receiving character coaching, of course we should expect mistakes (both big and small).

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Should Active Top Athletes Get Married?

by Dr. Timothy Thompson 07-17-2009 05:03 PM Human Relations | Trusted Athlete Educator

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Top athletes at the college and pro levels may feel obligated to commit to a partner, but they may be setting themselves and the partner up for devastating heartache.

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Just Let the Kids Play

by Dr. Timothy Thompson 04-03-2009 02:00 AM Trusted Athlete Educator | Human Relations | Recruiting | Sports Psychology

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We're investing more and more heavily in trying to find the next big sports phenom, but all we're really doing is threatening to kill the joy of playing sports. Instead, Let's help talented kids develop their love for sports.

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Dialing up True Love while Temptation is on the Other Line

by Dr. Timothy Thompson 04-18-2008 02:00 AM Sports Psychology | Human Relations | Trusted Athlete Educator

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As you already know, your first hurdle as a celebrity (like I said in my blog about making friends) is to figure out who loves you for who you are inside, rather than for how much money and fame they can get from being with you.

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Making New Friends: How can you discover who's really in your corner?

by Dr. Timothy Thompson 03-23-2008 02:00 AM Trusted Athlete Educator | Human Relations | Sports Psychology

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As hard as it is for people with faces that aren't widely recognizable to figure out who their real friends are, the fact that you're a high-profile athlete means you need to be even more careful than they do about who you invite into your inner circle.

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Preparing Yourself for the Human Side of Stardom

by Dr. Timothy Thompson 03-12-2008 02:00 AM Human Relations | Sports Psychology

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The social and business implications of being a professional athlete

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