Losing sucks.
How’s that for an introductory line and title? Hell, I don’t even like losing my car keys! Chris Paul said it best during a talk at his camp last summer, “I hate losing more than I like winning.” I know a lot of elite level ballers who feel the same way and use their distaste of losing as a major source of motivation.
As much as losing sucks, I do hope we can all agree, especially given the catastrophic events that have recently taken place in Haiti… that losing a basketball game is not the end of the world. As important as basketball is, you have to keep things in perspective. Nevertheless, I still stand by my opening statement… losing sucks.
Now, some of you reading this haven’t lost a game this season (John Wall, are you there?). And some of you have lost almost every game you’ve played (hmmm… New Jersey Nets). However, I imagine a majority of you are somewhere in between.
Given January is the “hump month” for high school and college hoops, I have received a few dozen emails in the past two weeks asking me how we (Montrose Christian) deal with losing.
Whether you are a player or a coach, how you handle a loss and deal with adversity speaks volumes about your character, your competitiveness, your commitment to excellence, and determining whether losing will become a habit or the initial spark that ignites success.
Even though losing is not the end of the world... losing should hurt. When you invest an inordinate amount of time, effort, and love into something like the game of basketball (and at Montrose we do)… losing should hurt. If it doesn’t hurt, then you don’t care. And if you don’t care, you shouldn’t be playing. However, you can’t let it hurt for long. You can’t wallow in self pity. You must lick your wounds, learn from the loss, and quickly move past it. If you don’t, it will happen again. And it will continue to happen until the reasons you have been losing are corrected.
I will be the first to admit how fortunate I am to be involved in a program that doesn’t lose very often. In my 7 years at Montrose, we have only lost around 15 total games (not sure of the exact number, but we have only averaged a couple of losses per year). I mean we haven’t lost a home game or to a local opponent since I have been there. The good news is we don’t have to deal with losing very often. The bad news is, when we do… it really sucks!
Losing, like any other setback or failure, should be looked at as a learning experience and a way to grow and improve. It is very important to learn from every loss and use it as a stepping stone to future victory. You don’t want to let one loss rattle your team’s confidence and snowball into a streak of losses (like what’s happening to the North Carolina Tarheels right now). You need to learn from it and nip it in the bud!
However, in order to learn from it, you must honestly and accurately identify why you lost. In my opinion, there are only three reasons you lose a game:
1) You weren’t as talented as the other team.
2) You didn’t execute or make plays.
3) You played with a lack of effort.
Determining why you lost is the most important factor when deciding how to handle it and how to bounce back.
If you lost because the other team was more talented… did you still compete? Or did you play scared?
If you lost because you didn’t execute or make plays… was it a mental thing (lack of focus)? Or was it just a poor shooting night?
If you lost because you lacked effort… and the other team outworked you… was it because…
Scratch that, there is no because. There is never an excuse for playing with a lack of effort. That is absolutely unacceptable. Losing from a lack of effort is the only time you should punish yourself or your players at the next practice. And you should make a statement to make sure it never happens again. Like killing an ant with a sledgehammer.
I can accept and admit when the other team was better. I can accept and admit when we had an off night (poor shooting), but I cannot and will not accept losing from a lack of effort.
Our most famous loss in my tenure at Montrose was last year’s double OT loss to Oak Hill in the Championship game of the Iolani Classic. That was a devastating loss. However, our kids played their hearts out. We couldn’t have asked them to play any harder. I am not much into moral victories, but ironically… I still to this day think that was the best game we played all year… and we lost! It is so important to recognize when you play well and lose. It is equally important to recognize when you play poorly and win. You need to learn from both.
Our only loss this year was to Neumann Goretti out of Philly (currently ranked 9th in the nation by ESPN) in the semi-finals of this year’s Iolani Classic. We played very hard that game; we just didn’t play particularly well. We didn’t execute and we didn’t finish plays. We missed 13 shots in the paint, 12 free throws, and had 11 empty possessions (where we didn’t even get a shot off because we turned the ball over). And we only lost by 7! While we were very disappointed in the loss, we knew our missed shots and careless turnovers were correctable mistakes. So we let it hurt for the night and then we woke up, put our hard-hats on, and went back to work. And our response paid off as we played very well the next game and beat a nationally ranked team out of Georgia.
NOTE: While we certainly missed some chip shots and freebies at the line, I don’t want to take anything away from Neumann Goretti. They played an outstanding game and deserved to win that night.
In addition to identifying why you lost, it is equally important to evaluate how you lost. Did you show proper sportsmanship to the other team and the officials? Did you play like a team or did you play selfishly, point fingers and make excuses? Obviously, no one likes to lose, but it is very important that you learn how to handle losses like a professional and with character… not like a petulant child.
We are very strict about this with our players and don’t give them an inch when it comes to sportsmanship or playing the blame game. We win together, we lose together. No one player wins a game by his or herself and no one player loses a game either. Missing a shot at the buzzer, or throwing the ball away with 3 seconds left, is never what actually loses the game. It was an accumulation of the previous 31 minutes and 57 seconds.
Make sure, as a coach or as a player, you take some time to reflect and evaluate both why you lost and how you lost and use it as a learning experience for your next game, as well as for the rest of the season. Even though January is coming to a close, there is still a lot of ball to be played!
If I can ever be of service to you or your team, please don’t hesitate to email me at Alan@StrongerTeam.com. I promise to respond as quickly as possible.
If you haven’t done so, please check out (and subscribe) to www.YouTube.com/StrongerTeamDotCom. I just posted a new video of a Montrose Basketball In-Season Workout. Next, I will post clips of the Duke men’s basketball team’s pre-game on court warm-up. I got some awesome footage from their game against Wake Forest!
Also, for those of you who follow me at www.Twitter.com/AlanStein, or are my “friend” at www.Facebook.com/AlanSteinJr, beginning in February, I will be posting weekly trivia questions for folks to win some sweet prizes – like Nike and Jordan gear! All of the questions will come from my blog archive… so make sure you read past posts and study up.
Play hard. Have fun.
Alan Stein
